Jason left again today. He was gone for a week and home for a day and a half and now he is off again until Friday. It hasn't been easy getting everything done without him here. I really depend on him a lot. Last week we had a few bumps. The kids were fighting and it seemed impossible to restore peace. I realized it was the adversary attacking our family. It was clear to me that those are weak areas for me and having so much contention was bringing an awful feeling to our home. I tried to point that out to the children, but they were laughing and it made it even harder. We read about contention in the scriptures but Colton and Whitney kept making each other laugh. I got up from the table and went to my room and locked the door. I was upset, frustrated and uncertain of what to do next. I was praying when Sarah began knocking on the door. When I came out Whitney had finished clearing the table and was trying to get the little ones to put their things away. She came up to me an told me she was sorry. She started to cry and I gave her a hug, we cried together. I told her that is very hard to take care of everyone's needs by myself and that I needed her help instead of her teasing and mocking. In the end it turned out well. It was certainly difficult night.

Jason had to leave before church was over so he came and said good-bye in Primary. I walked him out to the car, fighting the tears. It was hard to change the thoughts in my mind so I wouldn't cry. I just wanted to go home but we were not done yet. So here goes another week, hopefully better than the last, but at least now I have a sense of what to expect. The kids really miss their dad. I noticed that Sarah has been more clingy than usual. I guess they really do recognize these changes in their routines. He got great pics from the East coast up in Maine so I'll post them, when he gets them downloaded!

Funny thing: Sarah just came in wanting me to unbutton her dress so she could change..."mom can I take my "ilons off?" For those who don't know ilons are a three year old's "nylons or tights." I love my kids, they always make me laugh!