Am I insane or what?

Can you call me crazy? Yes! I the midst of a move I took on a few too many projects. One of which was a wedding cake. I'm posting about it because it was almost my doom. I had made a few cakes before and loved using the fondant icing. This time I thought I'd do the marshmallow version instead of the bland fondant dough. So Thurs. I started the cakes, a three tiered cake with two layers on each tier. While the cake was baking I started 3 batches of marshmallow fondant. All seemed to be going right on schedule so I was very pleased. Friday morning as soon as the kids went of to school I began icing and layering the cake. I guessed I'd be done by lunch. Just not so...I mixed up butter cream frosting and iced in between each layer. Then I iced the bottom tier, rolled out the fondant and found it extremely sticky so I added more powdered sugar, still sticky, added water as suggested in the recipe. Still sticky I kept adding more powdered sugar and finally felt if would work and gently folded it over to lift up on the cake...no, no, it stuck together so I started the process again of adding p. sugar and rolling. Over and over I worked this only to have it tare apart each time I tried to place it on the cake. I didn't realize it at the time, but it is very susceptible to moisture and boy was it a humid day. I was so frustrated, after working for almost 4 hours on it and messing up all the fondant (due to the butter cream on the cake) I finally lost it. I cried so hard I was shaking. I was so mad I just wanted to throw the cake at the wall! I went and showered, sobbed some more, hoping that I'd get an idea of what to do to solve the problem. I used all the butter cream icing (now ruined). I used almost all the fondant, now ruined, and the cake had to be at the reception in 5 hours. I didn't want to admit defeat and run to walmart to buy a stupid cake so I kept praying I'd know what to do to fix the problem. I asked Jason to run to the store and pick me up the regular fondant. While he was gone I cleaned up the table and prepared to begin again. When he got back I rolled out the fondant and walla it went on perfectly. I rolled the other two tiers and covered them. I then added color to two small piles of the fondant and rolled them out to add for a ribbon look around the base of each tier. In the end it looked good, however, over time at the reception I noticed the flowers were pulling down on the cake so it leaned some. I still have so much to learn still. I was just grateful to have it done!

A Time of Change...

I thought that I knew the direction my life was heading. Ultimately west, closer to family; however, a turn has come and we are now heading east, Jacksonville, Florida. It all seems like a blur, the last week. A week ago Friday, Jason came in the room and told me he had just had a call with his boss' boss. (not a good sign) He asked him to consider taking the FL job. They were having problems clear back in the fall and asked him to take it last Dec. At that time I felt sick inside. They were not going to help us relocate or anything. He declined the offer and accepted another assignment that would possibly take us west. We were thrilled. Now he was once again being plead with to take the job. Things in FL were not going well with the client and they needed someone to help get things back on track. Now they were desperate and willing to help get him there and help with some other things too.

When Jason told me about the job, I cried...all day. We had not decided to take it but we also found out that the job he was hoping to take us west would most likely stay in the east anyhow. I felt frustrated and after a day of tears decided I needed to know what we were to do. We talked to his boss about the concerns we had about taking it...higher cost of living, the lack of bonus' this year and the fur-low his work had done had financially hurt us last year and we are so financially tight right now. Also, the fact we hadn't been home in two years because of finances, concern about the house selling and having two mortgage payments would kill us. In the end his boss said they would relocate us, would raise his salary a little to start and then add a larger increase after he reached some projection goals. They also would help pay up to 6 months rent while we waited to sell the house. On top of that they would give him a signing bonus that would enable us to go home this summer. We talked and prayed all weekend. I felt really good about it on Sat. but wanted Jason to know for himself what we should do so I waited to tell him what my answer was. He had flown out to FL Sunday and finally Mon. I told him we've got to give them an answer, he needed one. He called me late Mon. and said there was no thunderbolt answer but that he felt good about it. I was glad, now even though torn, at least we had a direction and peace about what we should do.

It's been hard with him gone. He was home Friday, that time went so fast and now he is gone again. Last night was horrendous as Luke was ill with a stomach bug. We have two people coming to see the house on Mon. after almost a year of not a single person. So hope is on the horizon, now we just have to get through the rest.

Our plan is to move after school gets out. That will give me time to pack up thing and tie up loose ends. It's only about 8 weeks away so I'm trying not to stress, but it is stressful. We plan to drive out to FL for spring break starting Sat. and be out there with Jason for a week. The kids have missed him so much. Sarah would break my heart when she talked to him on the phone saying "I miss you, daddy!" in a pitiful voice and telling him she wants to move to FL to live with him. None of this is easy, but I'm trusting that Heavenly Father knows what we need to do and will help us all along the way. I have such a wonderful husband and I miss him very much. They will be releasing him from bishop pretty soon and that will be a relief for him. It's hard to work out the needs of a ward when you are only home on Sat. and at church a few hours at the most before flying out. He had a funeral last week and his poor counselor (only counselor as the other one just moved) had to jump in and help take care of things. It'll be really good when things are all done and we don't have to separate each week.

Jason left again today. He was gone for a week and home for a day and a half and now he is off again until Friday. It hasn't been easy getting everything done without him here. I really depend on him a lot. Last week we had a few bumps. The kids were fighting and it seemed impossible to restore peace. I realized it was the adversary attacking our family. It was clear to me that those are weak areas for me and having so much contention was bringing an awful feeling to our home. I tried to point that out to the children, but they were laughing and it made it even harder. We read about contention in the scriptures but Colton and Whitney kept making each other laugh. I got up from the table and went to my room and locked the door. I was upset, frustrated and uncertain of what to do next. I was praying when Sarah began knocking on the door. When I came out Whitney had finished clearing the table and was trying to get the little ones to put their things away. She came up to me an told me she was sorry. She started to cry and I gave her a hug, we cried together. I told her that is very hard to take care of everyone's needs by myself and that I needed her help instead of her teasing and mocking. In the end it turned out well. It was certainly difficult night.

Jason had to leave before church was over so he came and said good-bye in Primary. I walked him out to the car, fighting the tears. It was hard to change the thoughts in my mind so I wouldn't cry. I just wanted to go home but we were not done yet. So here goes another week, hopefully better than the last, but at least now I have a sense of what to expect. The kids really miss their dad. I noticed that Sarah has been more clingy than usual. I guess they really do recognize these changes in their routines. He got great pics from the East coast up in Maine so I'll post them, when he gets them downloaded!

Funny thing: Sarah just came in wanting me to unbutton her dress so she could change..."mom can I take my "ilons off?" For those who don't know ilons are a three year old's "nylons or tights." I love my kids, they always make me laugh!

My friends son Ethan.

I Love Sarah, the flying girl.

Ethan and his shoes on the wrong feet, luv that age.

Jason had taken the day off to go to the Temple with me, however, he noticed the night before that his recommend had expired. He was suppose to renew it when the Stake Pres. visited our ward last month, however, our Stake Pres. was extremely ill and had to leave right after Sacrament Meeting. We forgot about his recommend. He offered to watch my friends little boy and drive us down so we could go to the temple. He ran errands with the kids. They look like they could be syblings.

Sarah in her make-shift snow gear - rubber boots (too big), 3 gloves and two hats. It was sooo cold.

Colton and his friend Cole. Can you tell who hunts?

Luke on the lawn-mower sled.

Great looking guy!

Luke and Sarah climbing the drifts. The wind blew so hard that some places ended up several feet deep while other areas were bare grass or sidewalk. You have to understand this area only gets snow once or twice a year. It doesn't stay, nor do they have plows to clear the roads when it does, so school gets canceled if even a little falls.

Sarah on the sled. (Boogie board from the beach, hasn't seen much beach since CA but, guess it can work on snow)

The crazy wind blew this snow drift two feet from the fence, it made a great snow fort and was about 3 feet high. Luke loved climbing it.

Luv 'em!

That's the back patio, covered with a funky slope!

January 30, 2010

Just a photo to help us remember Colton in his tough macho state. A few weeks ago he was boasting about being such a strong tough guy at school...I just couldn't resist humbling him a bit...YES! I won. I told him some day he could be as strong as me, if he worked out. I don't think he realized that hefting babies for years and as they grow up does work the arms a bit.

Jason took the youth down to the temple for baptisms. It was Colton's first time as a young man. He had a wonderful time. Mostly cause they ate Chinese food and he scarfed down 20 or more fortune cookies, my son is insane!

Bro. Hansen, Johnathan, Bro. Weldon, Kyle, Bro. Layton, Bro. Rich, Colton, Talon, Bro. Petersen.

Yes, this is our YM's group. Our YW's is even smaller with two girls.

Jason started his first week working from home! It has been great so far. Some of my friends expressed concern about how soon I'll be eager to have him go to a separate location to work. After the first two days I don't think I'll have anything to worry about. I'm more worried he'll be eager to get into an office ASAP. Though I do think he likes not having to get all dress up to go to work. He has made it pretty nice, he's watched Sarah (which isn't too hard as she plays contently by herself most of the time) he's done laundry and helped with some errands. It's been a big help to me not having to hire a sitter to do my jobs once or twice a week. I think I like this work from home thing! And no there is no news yet on any office locations...they have so much planning to do first!